Death of a Resolution
by Alexander Vincent
Summary: Trying to better yourself by finally getting around to those New Year's resolutions can be hell.


Death.

I never saw it as anything other than an idea until I accidentally stumbled into its path. Until now, it was simply an idea that surrounded my daily life with fear of the unknown. Maybe that's why I never thought about it. Or maybe all of those video games wrought with carnage and destruction and those horror movies filled with gratuitous gore really did desensitize me to the point of laughing at or altogether dismissing the idea of dying. Sure, I've attended my share of funerals and I even saw a guy get hit by a car right in front of my apartment. And those moments did ground me back to reality for a while, but over time I always went back to the ever so popular "that will never happen to me" mentality.

All this time, I thought I had control of my own life. I didn't think I was above fate, or destiny, or whatever you want to call it. I simply never gave it much merit or really paid much attention to it for that matter. I carved my little niche of a life out of the choices I made. I, like so many others I've come to know over the years, struggled my way into and out of most of the cliché virtues and vices of life. I kissed my high school sweetheart, Jessica Martin, under the stars. I held disdain for my job and especially for that fellow of a bastard, Jim Montgomery, who got the promotion when I thought it was "in the bag".

It may have been a simple life but it was mine, dammit. If I could cry I would. Maybe I am…

All of those times throughout the years I thought I was indestructible, and even now. Well, not right now of course…

You see, I didn't realize just how much I cherished the world around me until I watched myself being devoured by one of its creatures.

I wish I could blame some ancient curse on my family. Hell, I'd even accept it if in a drunken stupor I accidentally pissed on a mystical being wrought with vengeance in its hollow heart. But no, this thing, this monster that has taken what seemingly insignificant life I had at my dead-end desk job, was simply a "human being". I use that term in the loosest sense of the word of course, because even as I watch my body move towards lifelessness in this strange third party view you can only experience when your head is severed from its home, I can't imagine any true "human being" possessing such raw violence and a seemingly preternatural enjoyment from the turmoil of others; especially since that human is a thirteen year old little bitch of a girl.

The darkness is coming soon, I can feel it. Not in the usual sense of the word. I really don't feel anything anymore. It's peaceful really.

I find myself trying to recall things, memories, anything. It's harder now.

I'm not sure how much longer I will be in this state of "transition", for lack of a more appropriate word. It seems like hours ago when I felt that first pain through my lower back. That tingling sensation you feel when your hand falls asleep, you know? I felt that flood through my body as it collapsed to the floor. And then that wincing pain I felt as my upper spine was shattered, my skin and throat torn apart and I, my head at least, finally came to rest here.

How appropriate for my head to find the best position possible so I can bear witness to the rest of this dreadful show.

I really just wanted, no, expected this to be some bad episode of a low budget television show. I mean, who the hell ever thinks that a leisurely jog around the block in an attempt at redeeming a New Year's resolution of getting fit would turn out like this? Sure it's July and the New Year is halfway over, but better late than never right? Well, I guess in retrospect, never starting would have been better for me. The humor and irony of those thoughts are lost in the moment it seems.

The sight in front of me is surreal, like that one movie. Haha! She really is having a grand old time with my carcass. What the hell is she? And why is she devouring my lifeless body like it was a Thanksgiving feast? Who am I, and who the hell am I even talking to?

Oh and now here comes 'nother guy. Is that the calvinry, the calvary? Hey, too late there buddy! I'm already decursertated, descalpitated… what the hell? My head is over here and the rest of me is halfway digested by that little, um, whatever the hell that is!

I'm not sure how much longer I will be in this state of translation, for lack of a butter wand. Wait, didn't I just say that?

The blackness is covering most of my eyes now. It's closing like the ending of the Looney Tunes cartoons I used to watch as a kid. Haha! 'Member that one about the orange monster and the bunny?

All I can thank of, thank if, think of is that fade to black and the simple word "fin" written in white cursive letters.

The darkness is coming and I don't see the light.

They said there was a light when you died!

Where's the light?

I want to see the light!

Don't let me die!

I'm sorry…


End file.
